We buried my dad last week. He died suddenly on June 1st at his home on a beautiful day. It seems unreal at this point and I don't think I have fully grasped what has happened to me. What a tragic loss, yet this week has gone by pretty smoothly. I don't know if its the realty of dealing with four children, a husband, a part-time job, keeping up with this very grassy, weedy, acreage of mine or if its just that I didn't see him much anyway so my soul hasn't realized the emptiness. I shudder at what tomorrow, Father's Day, may bring as I try to celebrate with my husband and children yet try to pay him homage in some way. Nonetheless, I find some consolation in seeing him just the week before his death and choosing to dwell on his goodness and generosity. I was blessed to have been his daughter. Happy Father's Day, Dad!!
Below is the tribute I wrote for him and that was read at his funeral.
First of all, on behalf of my family, we deeply appreciate you being here today. It is your presence and your prayers that have carried us through these last few days. We thank you.
I have struggled to decide whether or not to put something down for my dad. I have 44 years of thoughts, memories, and feelings to convey in such a short time but I feel it is the least I can do to honor him now.
For those of you who knew him, you can agree that he was a unique character. He was very tough on the outside but was kind-hearted and gentle in so many ways.
I remember as a little girl how big and strong he was to me. I would often ask him to flex his muscle and I would try unsuccessfully to wrap my little hands around his big arm. I remember lying across his lap so he could scratch my back or climbing up into his chair and getting a “whisker rub” across my soft little cheek. To him, that was like a hug.
You always knew where you stood with dad. If he didn’t agree with something, he made sure you knew that. If he thought something cost too much, he would tell you so. In spite of that, or maybe because of that, everyone loved him. He had such a faithful band of friends that he would enjoy coffee with every morning. It was these friends that he valued and loved so very much.
He worked long, hard hours running his farm and his company. I remember his rough hands and his sunburned arms, signs that he was working hard so we wouldn’t be in need of anything.
He was a stickler for saving money. We laugh now when we share stories of how he tried to stretch things into lasting longer. Material things meant nothing to him. We had what we needed and he saw no sense in much more.
Dad loved his wife. He needed her. He was faithful to her until her dying breath. He was never the same after that. He seemed just to be waiting to be with her again.
Somehow, I thought this day would never come. The day I would receive the phone call that he was gone. I wish I had been more patient with him. I wish I had visited and called more often. I wish I had told him I loved him more often. I wished I had hugged him more. I realize now the things that drove me crazy were so insignificant.
In these times of grief, we must choose to look for the blessings. I am blessed to have had a father so devoted to his wife. I am blessed to have had a life of good, hard work mirrored for me. I am blessed to have had a dad that loved me. I am blessed now to have sweet memories of his smile and the twinkle in this eye when he would laugh. I am blessed by the stories he would tell of when he was growing up.
Dad, I stand before this group of friends and family and I honor you. I pray you knew you were a faithful husband, a precious father, and a good man. I have peace knowing that you took your last breath outside your own home, on a beautiful spring morning, looking onto the flowerbed mom tended to for so many years.
I miss you. See you soon,Janice
Below is the tribute I wrote for him and that was read at his funeral.
First of all, on behalf of my family, we deeply appreciate you being here today. It is your presence and your prayers that have carried us through these last few days. We thank you.
I have struggled to decide whether or not to put something down for my dad. I have 44 years of thoughts, memories, and feelings to convey in such a short time but I feel it is the least I can do to honor him now.
For those of you who knew him, you can agree that he was a unique character. He was very tough on the outside but was kind-hearted and gentle in so many ways.
I remember as a little girl how big and strong he was to me. I would often ask him to flex his muscle and I would try unsuccessfully to wrap my little hands around his big arm. I remember lying across his lap so he could scratch my back or climbing up into his chair and getting a “whisker rub” across my soft little cheek. To him, that was like a hug.
You always knew where you stood with dad. If he didn’t agree with something, he made sure you knew that. If he thought something cost too much, he would tell you so. In spite of that, or maybe because of that, everyone loved him. He had such a faithful band of friends that he would enjoy coffee with every morning. It was these friends that he valued and loved so very much.
He worked long, hard hours running his farm and his company. I remember his rough hands and his sunburned arms, signs that he was working hard so we wouldn’t be in need of anything.
He was a stickler for saving money. We laugh now when we share stories of how he tried to stretch things into lasting longer. Material things meant nothing to him. We had what we needed and he saw no sense in much more.
Dad loved his wife. He needed her. He was faithful to her until her dying breath. He was never the same after that. He seemed just to be waiting to be with her again.
Somehow, I thought this day would never come. The day I would receive the phone call that he was gone. I wish I had been more patient with him. I wish I had visited and called more often. I wish I had told him I loved him more often. I wished I had hugged him more. I realize now the things that drove me crazy were so insignificant.
In these times of grief, we must choose to look for the blessings. I am blessed to have had a father so devoted to his wife. I am blessed to have had a life of good, hard work mirrored for me. I am blessed to have had a dad that loved me. I am blessed now to have sweet memories of his smile and the twinkle in this eye when he would laugh. I am blessed by the stories he would tell of when he was growing up.
Dad, I stand before this group of friends and family and I honor you. I pray you knew you were a faithful husband, a precious father, and a good man. I have peace knowing that you took your last breath outside your own home, on a beautiful spring morning, looking onto the flowerbed mom tended to for so many years.
I miss you. See you soon,Janice
2 comments:
Janice, that was a beautiful tribute to your dad. I have tears rolling, here. I so understand your feelings of "wishing" you had said or done more or not said something or fidgeted less about the small nagging things! I lost my parents alot younger, but I still had those same feelings. I'm sure deep down your dad knew exactly how you felt. Dads are uniquely gifted that way! And if for some reason he didn't exactly know...I believe he has the gift of knowing now! Thanks for sharing that little piece of your heart.
Jan, you know I share your pain too. As a parent, don't you just KNOW your kids adore you?? look up to you?? NEED you??? I think your Dad knew that you had so many feelings of love and respect for him.
My Grandma died Sunday, and I got to speak with her plainly about two weeks ago. I was able to tell her how much she has meant to me, and how very much I love her. We were able to look each other straight in the eye and say "I LOVE YOU!". Something I didn't get to do with my own parents.
But I have to believe that they knew anyway.
By the way, you look fabulous!
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