Leaving Home

Last Friday morning I dropped my youngest off at school and took a drive to my hometown, about an hour and a half away. I was facing a task that I dreaded yet knew had to be done. It was there that I would meet 3 of my siblings to go through our parents home, take what we wanted, seperate the things to donate, and throw out the things that had no use. It was our goal to empty the house out completely as it was to be painted and put on the market to be sold.
I had been trying everything I could think of to keep from going. I wanted to be there, yet didn't. I knew it would be agonizing for me but couldn't avoid it. In a way, I felt it was one last way I could honor my parents so I knew it was one of those things in life that would be so difficult but had to be done.
I had lost so much sleep over this. I had prayed constantly for God to give me the grace to do this; to enable me to complete this task. As usual, He was faithful to me and gave me the strength when I have been so weak.
The actual job of cleaning out the house wasn't as difficult as I had expected. I think we were all in "work mode"; we had a job to do and we did it with a good degree of efficiency. In the midst of all the "stuff" were unexpected treasures and hidden memories. Some brought sweet smiles, some, agonizing tears.
As our work progressed, and as each room echoed with emptiness, my mind took me back to a time, nearly 50 years ago, when a young couple, not married 5 years yet but already with 3 children, made this their home. I imagined how excited and happy Mom was to finally have a place of her own. How she must have smiled as she planned each child's room, as she put away her household items, how she made it her home. I think of my dad; how proud he was to be able to pay cash for their first home and his plans for caring for his family. They had no idea at that time what life had in store for them; that they would have 3 more children. They didn't know the joys and the heartache that marriage and family life would bring them. Yet, they met each struggle with determination to stick it out together, no matter what. I love them for that.
I can't remember a time in my life when my tears have been so frequent and so difficult to hold. Just a simple look from a friend or a question of, "How are you doing?" will open the flood gates. I am NOT handling this very well. But I have a Savior who is walking closely with me and who loves me and who promises He will never leave me nor forsake me. I lean into Him to get me through this and I know I am in good hands.

I'm coming up for air

Hey! Its me. Popping in to say to hello to anyone who may be reading my blog (although from the looks of it, my audience is teeny tiny). Anyway, along with the cooler weather has come an onslaught of countless activities my children; i.e. piano lessons for 3, ballet/tap for 1, soccer for 1, some type of computer thing for 1, marching band for 1, Greek classes for 1 etc. You know what I'm talking about because you're probably doing it too. Comes with the territory and I will miss it when they're gone I'm sure.
I do have to share something unusual about myself...I have taken up the cello!! I LOVE the deep, rich tone of a beautiful cello and its one of the things I wanted to do when my children got older. Well, they're older and so am I. After Mom and Dad died, it dawned on me that I will too and there are some interests I have that have gone unattended to and I don't want to live a life of regrets so here I am... a cellist.
I'm so excited AND I can play Jingle Bells so I'm all ready for the holiday season.